If You Get Married You May Get Eaten By A Bear

An email:

Hi, You heard this morning that a man was undone by a bear. You recently saw it on the news. A man who worked with a bear was killed by the bear. You will also recall that two years ago a man who lived with wild bears was eaten by bears.  Not long after that a man who loved sharks and other dangerous denizens of the deep came to a sudden and much publicized end when one of them turned on him. You and I know that there are wild and uncontrollable creatures on this planet that may be toyed with for a while, but that at any time they are likely to turn on you. And yet, every day you and I have one more friend who plans to get married. You are invited to stop by for supper anytime. Steve

Response: Thank you for the dinner invitation Steve. Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend. I work with bears and other denizens of the deep and because of your email I now suffer from agoraphobia and can't leave my house. I do not wish for my coworkers to eat me or undo me. I do wish to marry you though.  I can make all the arrangements and we can do it on your lunch break if that is convenient. Hope to speak with you soon...

Comments

[Joe]

Wait wait wait. Is it too late to get in on this? I am reasonably good looking and am looking to get married over the internet since I'm real busy and agoraphobic myself. Also, I do a pretty cool NPR parody called IPR : Irrational Public Radio. Check it out if you like. It be funny.

http://www.IrrationalPublicRadio.com