No Birthday Wishes For You

An email:

Hi,

Please send out a Happy Birthday to Beth Wombat (not her real name) for her 50th Birthday on Wednesday, July 4th. Please send this greeting out to Beth from her good friend, "Still Dick Stamm's lovely wife of 24 years." She'll know who that is.

If you are a Country station, please play a song for her. I don't know the name of the song, but the refrain lyrics state: "I know what I was feeling, but what was I thinking?" I don't know who sings it either. I just heard it recently on a Country station.

Please also play "I don't want to Miss a Thing" by Arrowsmith or the Country version is fine as well. Please dedicate that song from Dick to his lovely wife, Beth. I had to wait 20 years for an "our song," but this song was worth the wait.

Thanks so much.

Beth

My response:

Dear Beth,

I am confused. Are you wishing yourself a happy country/Aerosmith birthday? If so "She'll know who that is" is pretty accurate. It's you. Your husband or friend or whatever Dick is to you, has no plans of wishing you a "happy birthday" let alone a "you're crazy lady."

I don't know who sings that song either. I don't know the title. I don't know how to spell my name. I did see Aerosmith in concert back in the late 80's if that helps.

We are an NPR station. We don't do country. Sometimes NPR may use Aerosmith as a music bed. Sometimes I think about Steve Perry.

We do let our listeners sponsor a day, with a message at the top of the hour. It's about $250 a day. It ain't free. Last I heard air and water out of the hose are free. Happy Birthday.

The Slave